-image-Moving Forward

December 6, 2007 | A Kick in the Butt

So, I suppose you’re wondering how I (or you) go about getting out of a holding pattern of distraction and avoidance; especially, if you’ve been caught in it for a long time.

Well, I thought about vowing that “Today, I will follow my routines, be disciplined and get back on track,” but that just seemed like an overwhelming opportunity to fail. I mean, logically speaking, it seems very likely that I’m not going to successfully go from doing nothing to doing everything in one go. That just brings us back to the old topic of momentum.

No, instead I decided that what I needed to do was start small. I needed to set a goal I could accomplish. The last thing you need, when you are literally avoiding life for fear of… whatever, is to fail the first time you decide to be brave and take some forward action.

Which is exactly why I decided that I was just going to do one small thing. Just make one small change, accomplish a little thing. To other people (like Wakizashi) the change may not even be perceptible; it didn’t matter if everyone else knew what I was trying to do yet, but it had to be something - even though it was small - that would make a difference to me. Something that would give me a little push of momentum with the least amount of effort.

Clearly, my small step hasn’t been a commitment to blog everyday, but I have been making efforts that are moving me back in that direction. To begin with, I had to pick something that made me feel like me, something that left me feeling like I had accomplished something that day. I knew it wouldn’t matter much what it was as long as I knew I could get myself stirred up enough to do it.

Sometimes the thing that makes you feel like you is so obvious. Painting, writing, singing, but, even though the creative stuff makes me sing on the inside the idea of finding the energy and strength to overcome the fear involved in creating was a little overwhelming. I decided to consider that once I had built up a little momentum.

I thought about working on my business - I knew I should work on my business (let me tell you, “should” is a terrible motivator and not very likely to create an effective stepping stone), but I was even more scared of that so I wrote it off too.

Which left my house. Yes, I know, I hate housework; housework is not even close to an expression of who I am. But, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that when I’m truly myself, strong, and on a roll I always have a system in place for getting the housework done. I often judge my effectiveness in a day by whether I got all of me into a day and kept the house in order. The housework wasn’t me, but it made me feel the same way that I did when I was in control.

Plus, the house was full of easy simple things I could do. So, that’s where I began.

Sure, most of the first day was still full of distractions - I probably didn’t spend more than 10 or 20 minutes working, but that was 10-20 minutes more than I had spent in a long time. I went to bed feeling like I had accomplished something, like I could accomplish something the next day.

Sure, it’s slow, but momentum builds up and begins to multiply itself naturally. Each day feels better than the last. The secret is the one small step. All you need is one tiny moment of bravery to break the holding pattern. Ask yourself, “What’s one small thing I can do that makes me feel like I’m myself again and will give me a sense of accomplishment?” Sometimes, most times actually, the smallest step you can take is enough to get you moving forward again. I made dinner, what are you going to do?