Even if it is just the cusp of the day, I wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas before I hit the sack.
I hope your day was full of joy!
Can you believe that Christmas is almost here? We have no tree up yet (the dogs just ruin it so we put it up on Christmas Eve as part of our family ritual), and no decorations, so I find myself frequently forgetting that Christmas is so close. (I’m not a scrooge, I just don’t own any decorations.)
If this were a list of thank yous I’d have to remember to thank Wakizashi for handing along his cold (it’s just what I wanted for Christmas). So, I suppose it’s a good thing that this is a record of the compliments and accomplishments I received this week, and not the lack of speaking voice I’ve had for the last few days.
Felicitations Received:
- Did you see? I restored the sidebar on this blog. You can now check out some of the books I’m reading, links to info on me and Everyday Renaissance, a great up coming conference, and even the info for the Friday Felicitations Movement. I’m so proud of myself.
- I got a huge surprise this week in the mail. A box full of flannel pajamas (six pairs to be exact); and why? Apparently, because I’m a lovely person who is loved and appreciated. Who knew? That’s definitely the highlight of my week.
- I’ve gotten a few compliments on this blog and Living Abundantly which is always nice.
Felicitations to Give:
- Woo Hoo to Lara who’s settled down to work up a first draft of her novel. From what I’ve seen so far it’s going to knock our socks off.
- And frankly, as it’s the end of the year, I’d like to compliment all the girls in the Inks SonLight forum - I’m really so proud of all of you and stand in awe of how much you have done over the months. Keep writing.
- To Jana, my PJ CEO, whose gift for blessing and bringing joy far exceeds any I’ve seen in anyone else!
- To all my ‘Jama givers, and card senders; blessings multiplied and returned to you and your families.
I haven’t really been blog surfing this week so I’m low on compliments to give. But I would like to say,
- For the Kung Fu Master, who’s had this week off of school and not given in to the TV monster all week, rather reading, painting, and playing with Photoshop! (He’s so talented if I do say so myself.)
- And my Wakizashi, who’s been picking up all the slack lately around the house. He’s the greatest Wakizashi any wife could ask to have (even if she does feel the need to occassionally bite him - don’t ask)
MERRY CHRISTMAS! I pray each and everyone of you are full of Joy and Peace this holiday; I can’t wait to start the New Year out with each and every one of you.
Have you taken up my challange to be a Blessing? I hope so! Whether you are planning on taking part or just considering it, I thought I’d make a couple of lists that might inspire you.
8 Ways to Be a Blessing
1. Say Something Nice - It should be an honest and heartfelt compliment. Make sure you look them right in the eye when you say it, and watch the joy that washes over them at a simple compliment. You’d be surprised how powerful a small, heartfelt compliment is. (For more compliment fun visit the Friday Felicitations Movement!)
2. Send a Card - It’s really a shame that email is taking over the art of letter writing, because, honestly, who doesn’t love to get mail? But hey, that’s on your side now, the fact that no one sends letters any more makes the few they do get all that much more special. Card writing is a really powerful way to reach out and touch someone. I once had a woman I knew tell me that for months she packed up the card I’d sent her everyday and brought it to work and then brought it back home with her. Pick a card that really makes you think of the recipient, and write a few words of encouragement or praise in it, pray over, and send it out. No snail mail? There’s always e-cards.
3. Treat Someone - Pick up a coffee on your way in to the office. Call up an overworked mom and offer to treat her to lunch. Bake cookies for your neighbors. Spontaneously say, “This time’s on me.” when out with a friend. Surprise someone (sick, new baby, overwhelmed) with a hot, prepared dinner at their door.
4. Lend an (unasked for) Hand - Some people have a hard time asking for help; they don’t want to impose or ask too much. If you know someone is overwhelmed then it’s the perfect time to insist on helping out (don’t take no for an answer). A few Christmases ago Wakizashi was away on business and I was sick the whole time he was gone. I had no car, no wrapping paper, no tape, my house was a disaster (of course, with mom too sick to clean up), and Wakizashi was going to be home that night with a gift exchange the next day. Imagine my surprise when two of my friends drove 30 mins to get to my house laden with dinner supplies, tape, wrapping paper, and cleaning supplies. They folded my laundry, washed my dishes, put my dinner on, and then slipped away. I would never have asked, but couldn’t have been more blessed.
5. Organize a Union of Blessers - Know something too big for you to take on alone? It’s not as hard as you think to get others on board to help someone. Everyone wants to be a blessing, they often just don’t know how or where to begin. Start sharing your vision and I’m sure you’ll find all the help you need. With online groups and forums, church, and friends you’ll have no shortage of people willing to give a little towards giving a lot.
6. Give a Gift - Know someone who can’t afford winter boots for their daughter? Someone who loves Flannel PJs, but never buys them? See a perfect gift you think would be a blessing to your neighbor up the road? Money isn’t always an object with gift giving; in this case it truly is the thought that counts. Besides, sometimes giving up Starbucks for a month (to pay for the gift we bought) is a good reminder of how much of a blessing it is to us to have it.
7. Try a Random Act of Kindness - Keep your eyes out for people who look down, stressed, worried, or struggling. Be randomly kind to them. Hold doors. Entertain children. Pay for their groceries (thanks Jana), or their meal.
8. Give Money or Necessities - You can give it to a collection, or directly to people who you know are in need. Buy gift cards, give cash anonymously. Leave groceries on their front step.
Money can sometimes seem like a hinderance to giving, but it’s possible to be an even bigger blessing by giving only a little. Happiness comes from knowing someone else cares, saw you, was even willing to help. Think about if it was you, what would bless you? Now, go out and do it for someone else.
4 People to Bless
1. Someone you admire or look up to - tell them how you feel about them, or what they do that you appreciate so much.
2. Someone in a menial job that you see all the time - you never realize how thankless being a grocery or coner store cashier is until you are one yourself. Spread a little cheer to someone in a dreary service job.
3. Someone you know to be in need - whether you know them or not.
4. Random Strangers - the guy behind you in line or the lady in the toy aisle with the crying baby. You never know, you could be reaching angels unaware.
There ya go, a Dozen inspiring possibilities for spreading the Blessings beyond the Christmas season.
Going back a post or two: Destiny is something we can only truly see from behind. Something we look back on. At the time it just seems like a string of regular day events - it’s us just trying to get from place to place in life. A talk with Susie. An offer from Tom. That book I read. But when we look back from behind we can see a very clear trail, a path, “Wow, I was being led to this place.” It all seems so clear when we look backwards. Of course, it was nothing but murk and fog at the time.
It’s like a legacy; by it’s very nature a legacy is only what we leave behind. We can’t honestly plan what the emotional and spiritual value we are going to leave is can we? We can choose to live our lives in such a way that we can be sure to leave some kind of legacy, but how can we plan what purpose others will take from our lives?
You can’t plan for destiny. Destiny is like your confirmation that you are doing ok, that you are on the right track. Destiny is the path already carved out of the hillside for us. When you hike, you don’t carve your own trail (especially if you’ve never been to that particular place before) you follow the trail laid out by others. Sure, you might choose to take a less worn branch, or to turn around, but you don’t just wander off into the wilderness. (It’s an allegory people, don’t go getting all technical about experienced hikers and compasses with me.) Destiny is the path carved out, the way made for us. But, it’s also the path we choose to walk. I mean, I may start out on Blue Paw Print Path and decide at some juncture to hop onto Green Triangle Trail. (Here’s the real paradox - could God have anticipated the change in trail, and is it therefore also part of our destiny? Or is it us changing our paths?)
That’s why destiny is only really clear to us when we look backwards. Just like progress; it seems like we are falling down over and over and maybe feels like we are getting no where, but when we look back it becomes evident, not just how far from our goal we are, but how far along the trail we’ve actually come. All the flags and markers are seen clearly for what they are once we’ve passed them and things have begun to fall into place.
That said, I don’t actually think that acheiving Destiny or leaving a Legacy is nothing more than a craps shot. You don’t just stumble through life and hope it all comes out well in the end. I know it’s more than that because I see the evidence of so many who’ve grown old and said that they did it wrong. I know there are some lessons we all have to learn for ourselves, but being as we don’t get a second chance at life this is one lesson I’ve decided to learn from someone else’s mistakes.
Purpose. That’s what we really need right now. Purpose is the compass for those going forward. It’s purpose that helps me decide which path to take, which business to start, which group to join (or not join). It’s because I’ve settled on a Purpose in my life - a driving force - that I feel confident and comfortable going through (almost) every day knowing that I’m heading towards my destiny. That I will, in fact, leave a legacy (one beyond finance and things).
The Purpose Driven Life was huge, it was a bestseller read by church goers and atheists alike. Not only that, it’s highly controvertial. Which all tells me that we (in general) are starving for our purpose. We all want to find what it is we can hold onto, some thread to tie our lives together. I liked The Purpose Driven Life but it was really, The Purpose Driven Community (or Culture), not so much an individual’s guide to finding their specific purpose.
It’s definitely our individual Purposes that we are all seeking. Mission Statements. Destiny. Legacy. All these things are really about finding the heart of our purpose; about knowing that we are here for a reason, and yes, You, as an individual, have something to offer and something to leave behind.
I suppose Purpose (like Destiny) might be something that evolves with us. I mean, if I had to pick my end target five years ago I’d be working in some missionary organization or maybe going to Bible College (and probably miserable without knowing why). Yet now, I’m so very far from that place I often shake my head in wonder. “Tell me again how I go here!” Of course, many of the same skills or personality traits that led me to consider those options are still the ones I use today… (So maybe Purpose is much less about the final target’s packaging (that might be closer to Destiny) and much more about how you go about hitting the target.) I wouldn’t have thought my packaging would look like this, but I was planning on following the same passions and using the same skills.
Why is Purpose so hard for us to pin down? First, I think it’s definitely because we confuse Purpose and Destiny; what it looks like in the end and how we live it each day. Second, I think we don’t leave room in our Purpose for the seasons of life, our own ebbing and flowing - we pick a purpose that requires us to hold static in this place in life. Being a Mom is a worthwhile purpose, but how will you fulfill it when your kids are 30? You can of course, you just have a purpose that recognizes your mother’s heart and allows you to mother other children and those who need a mother rather than just your own child (who will grow up and need less and less of your mothering). That is a purpose with room to grow in.
The Center of Purpose is the meeting of an axis; Purpose is where Passion and Dreams cross over. Focusing on my Purpose never got me any closer to defining it. It was when I started naming what I was Passionate about, and making room for my Dreams, that suddenly my Purpose fell into place. (I say suddenly but it really is a process, it just seems like suddenly because it wasn’t what I was looking for at the time.)
How do you figure out what your individual Purpose is? Ask Yourself: What are my Dreams? What am I Passionate about?
(Need some help figuring that out? Contact me about my coaching services. I’d love to help get you on the Path towards your Purpose.)
On Living Abundantly: What it Means to Bless I Got Blessed
Don’t you think that the words bless and blessings are the kinds of words that we really take for granted? They are the kind of words that I think to myself, “But what does that really mean?” I mean, how can you go out and do it if you don’t really know what “it” is? (I wonder this same thing about words like worship and pray too…)
So, I decided to do a little hunting and track down a bit on the word and it’s origin.
Mirriam-Webster Online said:
Main Entry: bless
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): blessed /’blest /; also blest /’blest/; bless·ing
1 : to hallow or consecrate by religious rite or word
2 : to hallow with the sign of the cross
3 : to invoke divine care for <bless your heart> — used in the phrase bless you to wish good health especially to one who has just sneezed
4 a : PRAISE, GLORIFY <bless his holy name> b : to speak well of : APPROVE
5 : to confer prosperity or happiness upon
6 archaic : PROTECT, PRESERVE
7 : ENDOW, FAVOR <blessed with athletic ability>
Ok. No offense to Mirriam or Webster, but that’s not really clearing things up for me. Although, number five seems useful (and spawns a discussion on what Happiness really is, which we’ll probably save for later).
Being as it’s primarily a religious term I’ve decided to also consult a Lexicon for Biblical definitions:
Old Testament (Hebrew)
0833 ’ashar {aw-shar’} blessed, lead, go, guide, happy, leaders, relieve
0835 ’esher {eh’-sher} blessed, happy
01288 barak {baw-rak’} bless, salute, curse, blaspheme, blessing, praised, kneel down, congratulate, kneel, make to kneel, misc
01289 b@rak (Aramaic) {ber-ak’} bless, kneel
01293 B@rakah {ber-aw-kaw’} blessing, blessed, present, liberal, pools
New Testament (Greek)
1757 eneulogeo {en-yoo-log-eh’-o} bless
2127 eulogeo {yoo-log-eh’-o} bless, praise
2128 eulogetos {yoo-log-ay-tos’} blessed (said of God)
2129 eulogia {yoo-log-ee’-ah} blessing, bounty, bountifully, fair speech
3106 makarizo {mak-ar-id’-zo} call blessed, count happy
3107 makarios {mak-ar’-ee-os} blessed, happy, happier
3108 makarismos {mak-ar-is-mos’} blessedness
See how lazy I am? This chart looked nice and easy, but for more details you can go to Blue Letter Bible yourself and look up the individual numbers. I’m not a Biblical scholar or anything but it sure does look like the idea of blessing is closely tied to either praising someone or making them happy. (Hmmm… there are a lot of theological issues to delve into in that aren’t there!)
One more reference:
bless
O.E. bletsian, bledsian, Northumbrian bloedsian “to consecrate, make holy,” from P.Gmc. *blothisojan “mark with blood,” from *blotham “blood” (see blood). Originally a blood sprinkling on pagan altars. This word was chosen in O.E. bibles to translate L. benedicere and Gk. eulogein, both of which have a ground sense of “to speak well of, to praise,” but were used in Scripture to translate Heb. brk “to bend (the knee), worship, praise, invoke blessings.” Meaning shifted in late O.E. toward “to confer happiness, well-being,” by resemblance to unrelated bliss. No cognates in other languages. Blessing is O.E. bledsung.Taken from: Online Etymology Dictionary
Interesting….
In summary, Megan’s definition (for practical purposes) is: To Bless - to in some way offer happiness to another, to praise them, or to speak the Divine over them.
Happy Blessing!
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